In 2021, the Holy Father Francis initiated in the church celebrating the World Day of Grandparents and Elderly every fourth Sunday of July. This year it falls on July 23, 2023 with the theme “His mercy is from age to age” (Luke 1:50).
The message of the Holy Father for this celebration based on the theme reminds all of us to look into the experience of Mary as she visits her cousin Elizabeth in her old age. All of us, especially the youth of today are called to bring joy and glad tidings to the hearts of our elderly. In a world where they are often neglected or abandoned, we are invited to hear and talk to them, to spend time with them, to care more for them.
In this life, most if not all of us will age or get old. Some reach 60s, others 70s, still others 90s. When we get old, we need care and various forms of assistance e.g. physical, medical, mental or even help with our memory, and the like. In our experience, especially during the pandemic years, those who care for the elderly and the sick are not just caregivers, nurses or doctors, some are also consecrated men and women religious. In hospitals and caregiving or nursing homes they are sometimes called pastoral ministry and services.
Caring for the elderly and the sick is not an easy feat. It calls for attentive patience, constant availability and most of all a sensitive heart overflowing with care. Basic health and medical knowledge will be a plus and a great tool as it facilitates a faster and more efficient communication with medical practitioners on the needs and medications for the patient. All these come with the experience and can be learned along the way. Yet, the challenge lies in doing them all together.
Three months in the ministry as a newly ordained deacon God gave me one of the most challenging and profound experiences a deacon could ask for, that is, taking care of our elderly and sick priests and brothers in the congregation. Diakonia, in the richness of its etymology, is in the end a call to serve especially the neglected and those who need help. Such an experience nurtured in me a deeper appreciation of the unique call for an apostolate of accompaniment.
First, medical assistance can be done in a very professional manner even without personal or emotional connection with the sick and elderly. Accompaniment goes beyond that usual task or job of administering medications or checking vital stats. Accompanying the elderly and the sick at times also involve listening to their worries and fears, both said and unsaid. One needs to be sensitive to how our elderly feels when things are not doing as they plan or as they wish since their body is not cooperating or feeling well. At times, they get irritable and experience mood swings too due to the medications and their sickness. Accompaniment invites us to always listen with our hearts, to hear the silent cries of pain in their eyes, to feel the heavy grasp of hand in your arms as if communicating the weight of their struggles.
Second, besides talking with the patient or the elderly, accompaniment also involves communicating clearly and objectively their situation to their immediate superiors and if needed be some family members or relatives. There will be times that it will be a struggle to understand what the doctors are saying or what the patient or the elderly is undergoing and how to communicate them altogether, clearly and as concise as possible to the needed personalities. This communication requires both sensitivity and sensibility. It is done with utmost care and prudence.
Lastly, accompaniment should lead the sick and elderly whom we care for closer to our Divine Master, the Shepherd, the true Healer of Body and Soul. While having treatments and procedures, the companion prays for the elderly and the patient. The sacrifices and extending of one’s self to help the elderly should be done in the context of prayer. The very act of service, like a washing of the feet, is praying for the sick and the elderly. Each application of ointments or medicine taken, is a silent whisper to God asking for a touch of His Divine healing. Accompanying the sick and elderly is a companionship in prayer.
May the example of Mary who travelled in haste to see her cousin to accompany her in a very challenging moment of her life, inspire us to do the same for our elderly and sick brothers and sisters. May our presence bring them, hope, consolation and joy. May our enduring patience, constant availability and ever listening heart reflect for them God’s profound love and mercy from age to age.
